Family Devotional 6.8.20 Erynne DeVore

On Talking to Children about Race

Like many of you, I am discerning how to equip and teach my children to be anti-racist, specifically as people of faith. I have compiled a list of resources that I have found helpful, but first I would like to make a few things clear:

1. I am not an expert on talking about race. I am educating myself right now. 
2. I am so sorry that I have failed to educate or say enough before now. I apologize for the role my silence has played in the systemic oppression of black people and people of color, and for failing to understand that "not being racist" and telling my children "God loves everybody" is not enough. I recognize that being warm and welcoming to every child of God is far too low a bar to have for myself, and our black brothers and sisters need and deserve more than that. They need our advocacy, change, action, and true empathy. 
3. As a white woman, I recognize my privilege. I understand that it is my job to use my privilege to elevate those voices that aren't heard, and that we desperately need.
4. That does not mean asking people of color (POC) for resources, their opinions, or to educate us more than they already have. If you have ever had to explain your own trauma/pain to someone who will never be able to firsthand understand it, I think you will appreciate why it is unfair to and exhausting for POC to have to continually educate white people. There are a lot of good resources out there for white people to start.
5. As a spiritual leader, I understand it is my job to equip parents to be the spiritual leaders of their own homes. I am passionate about this and take this responsibility seriously. 
6. It is never too early to talk to your children about race. You do not have to be an expert on race, or any other tough topic, to have these conversations with your children. Some of this looks like what a lot of us have already been doing - acknowledging our differences with other people, pointing out our similarities, buying toys with different skin colors. Some of this looks like having tougher conversations with slightly older children about racism and racial violence, that I personally have not done as good a job of doing. The conversation about race and inclusivity starts as young as babies, but some of us have children a little older and that conversation needs to turn into anti-racism. 
7. It is OK to admit to your children that you are still learning, and you might make mistakes. They will feel safe to make their own, when you do. It will give you an opportunity to model what to do when you make mistakes, especially if those mistakes hurt people.
8. You know your children best. I have one child I can have very frank, candid, and open conversations with about anything. I have one child who is deeply empathetic and very sensitive. While race and inclusivity have been ongoing conversations in our home, racial violence has not, and I will have to be careful not to overwhelm her all at once with tough conversations. This list is not intended to be a week, or two week, intensive course on racism. This is a starting point for a lifetime of conversations and hopefully, activism.
9. I know sometimes children's frankness and unfiltered honesty can be surprising and uncomfortable. Try not to shush your children when they have uncomfortable questions or speak about race. You want this to be a conversation that you can sustain over their childhood. 
10. As people of faith, we are called to stand up for the oppressed. We need to do this now, we should have done this yesterday. That said, you cannot heal the world if you yourself, are not healed. Please take care of yourself. Healing of the world starts in the home, which starts with safe, healed, healthy parents. Take a walk, take a bath, make yourself your favorite breakfast, schedule a therapy appointment, call me if you would like to chat, text a friend - do (or don't do, maybe nap instead) what you need to do to feel loved - because you are. You are a beloved child of God.

Remember if you are on a desktop and/or do not have an instagram account, some of these links will not be direct or work exactly right. You can still look at someone's instagram account on a desktop but you need an account to follow and engage, and instagram is designed to be looked at on an app on your phone.

Click here for a list of resources from Pretty Good Designs. Podcasts, books, toys, etc. for children and their parents.
Click here to email me for a "Black Lives Matter" printable coloring page from Global Kids Ministries.
Click here to be taken to the "Social Issues" section of A Mighty Girl website. You can sort through books on topic, by age, etc. It is one of my favorite websites as a parent.
Click here for the Amazon link to the children's book God's Big Plan, a lovely book on God's plan for diversity.
Click here for the Amazon link to the children's book Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness.
Click here for a list of 31 Children's Books on Race. My children and I will be listening to Something Happened in our Town on the Audible App, this week. 
Click here to follow Black Christian, anti-racist, author and leader Osheta Moore on Instagram. Her work is geared towards adults, but I have found it very enlightening as I've lead conversations with my children. Her recent post on June 1 "Breath Prayers: Jesus...Help me be brave" I found deeply meaningful.  
Click here for a list of anti-racism resources for white parents compiled by Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein. Sent in by St. John parent and local nurse, Sarah Llewellyn.
Click here for Black Lives Matter K-8 distance learning resources, including coloring pages. Sent in by St. John parent and local nurse, Sarah Llewellyn.

Many of the resources I list below came from the Instagram Page sexpositive_families. I am passionate about having conversations around healthy sexuality and body positivity with my children. I am now recognizing that there is a huge intersection with racial equality and these topics that I have been missing.

Click here to be taken to the website Raising Race Conscious Children. From their intro: "Welcome to Raising Race Conscious Children, a resource to support adults who are trying to talk about race with young children. The goals of these conversations are to dismantle the color-blind framework and prepare young people to work toward racial justice..."
Click here to be taken to the website Teaching for Change. It is geared towards educators, but there are lots of resources for us parents who are our own educators as well. 
Click here to follow the instagram page The Conscious Kid: Parenting and Education through a Critical Race Lens.

As we look forward into the future of this being an ongoing conversation and working point of our discipleship, I will be discerning what a parents group might look like for parents to discuss with each other how they are teaching their children about racism. If you are interested in being a part of the leadership for this potential group, please let me know. You do not have to be an expert on racism. A passion for God, equality, dismantling white supremacy, and parenting are all you need! 

If you would like a starting point for a simple prayer for your family, feel free to use (as much or as little) of this one I wrote for you:

Dear God,
We thank you for all of Your children. That is ALL of us! We feel sad when we hear about black or brown people not being treated with love and kindness. We feel nervous when we don't know what to do to help. Please guide us, God. Help us know how to help. We are thankful for how you remind us to be a good friend to everyone. We want people of color to be safe. We know you are the safest Love there is in our world, and we want everyone to feel Your Love. Help ALL of us to feel Your Love. Help us show Your Love to everyone, no matter what they look like, sound like, or live! In Jesus' Name, Amen. 

~ Erynne DeVore, director of Children’s Ministry

Daily Devotional 6.3.20 Rick Meidel

Rick Meidel

“For God does not show favoritism.” - Romans 2:11

I grew up in the country outside Auburn, Illinois, a small town, population 3,000. It was a close-knit community, as most small towns are I suppose. I didn’t recognize it as clearly then as I do now, but everyone looked exactly like me. Sometime in my youth, I recall that an African-American family moved to our little town. I don’t remember any physical violence, but I can guess that there was an emotional toll. I recall the family didn’t stay around very long. As I’ve aged, I find myself stumbling with names I should remember or forgetting what I had for breakfast; and yet I can recall this memory of one particular family that I don’t think I ever met.

Before being recruited by Crowley, I spent 32 years with ExxonMobil. As I retired there, to begin a different path, I was reflective about my long career. I don’t think anyone could have predicted - certainly not me - that a small-town kid would join the ranks of one of the largest, most successful, companies in the world. I mean, come on, my very first trip on an airplane was when I interviewed for the job! I reflected on what I valued the most from that experience. It wasn’t recognition. It wasn’t prestige. It wasn’t money. What I continue to value most was the opportunity to travel the world, not just learning about other cultures but immersing myself in those cultures. I spent considerable time in places like Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Southeast Asia, Japan, Europe, Eastern Europe, Turkmenistan, and many more. I like to joke that I can order a cold beer and get to a toilet in a multitude of languages! My travel experiences were eye-opening. They were enjoyable. And those experiences changed my life.

My travel experiences impacted my views about diversity and inclusion; they shaped the way I build organizations and teams within my work. Sometimes I want to pat myself on the back. And as my Facebook page blows up with everyone’s posts of solidarity about the recent, horrific events in our country, I wonder if others are wanting to pat themselves on the back too. The problem can’t be me!  I belong to an inclusive church! No, it must be someone else. I’ll just sit and watch the news. But the problem is me. And the problem may be you, too. As I tell people when we get into such a discussion, think about the last number of times you’ve had people over for a visit to your home. Was there diversity in the guest list? Not so much at my house. I look down my rather lengthy Christmas card list, and I can’t find much diversity there either. I can come up with some reasons perhaps; but they aren’t very good reasons. If I can develop, and value, a diverse team at work, and if I can share in words the value of diversity as I raised my children, why doesn’t that show up as much, with action, in my personal life? I’m not racist, but perhaps I show favoritism. It’s embarrassing and I’m ashamed.

In the Romans scripture above, Paul places God’s absolute lack of favoritism against the motives or tendencies of our human heart. As humans, we do in fact show favoritism. We may not embarrass ourselves with this favoritism. Our favoritism may not ever put us in a compromising situation or land us on the wrong side of the law. Nonetheless, that favoritism leads to bias, as unconscious as that bias may be. I know God can't be pleased when we have regard for one group of people over another, and especially if we have that regard based on language, skin color, cultural origin or any other filter, without any regard for the person inside.

I’m getting older. My parents, obviously, even older. I’m losing friends with whom I grew up. Other friends are battling life-threatening illnesses. I guess now, I think more about life eternal. As I think about what it might be like, one day, to greet the Father, I know I’ll be surrounded by others; a very diverse group of others. No group will be above another. I don’t want to be embarrassed or ashamed in that setting. No, not in front of the Father. Before that day comes, I can  and will do better. We can do better, together.

“After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!’” - Revelation 7:9-10

Father, help us reflect on your absolute lack of favoritism while recognizing our own shortcomings. Don’t let us be satisfied with good words and good thoughts. Guide our actions toward your higher purpose. We pray for all those who are suffering from recent, diversity related events. We want to do better. We know we can be better. Show us the way. In His name, Amen.

Rick Meidel, his wife Natalie and daughter Sarah have attended St. John UMC since 2018. Rick can be reached at meidy@me.com or 832-418-9200.

Family Devotional 6.1.20 Acts 2:1-21

For families with little ones (preschool age), this could be a 3-5 minute talk! It doesn’t have to be much. For older children, you can opt in for more of these options to extend your study time together. I recommend doing this with (especially little) children over a meal – whichever meal is the least chaotic in your home (for my family right now, that’s lunch), or saving the questions for while you’re on a walk or playing outside together. Have fun!

1. Read the scripture together: Acts 2:1-21. The important thing is that you’re reading scripture together! If you’re looking for different ways to engage your children while reading, here are some fun ways to read scripture as a family

1. Every Reader takes a verse

2. Ask each child to pick two words they don’t understand to talk about after you read it. (For longer scriptures and younger children, you may need to split up the reading in order to do this.)

3. Draw a picture of what you read

4. Act it out as a family (And please send documentation of this to children.sjumc@gmail.com because we could all use a laugh right now!)

5. Sing it!

6. Use Legos or dolls to tell the story

2. Tell your kids this this scripture is for Pentecost Sunday (yesterday, May 31st.) It is a day we remember and talk about the Holy Spirit, who is God that lives within us and through us and all around us! 

3. Discussion Questions (as always, pick and choose which questions you’d like to discuss!):

1. Do you know anyone that speaks a different language than you? What are ways we can communicate with other people who don’t speak the same language as us?

2. How would you feel if you could suddenly understand a new language?

3. What is one thing we all have in common, no matter our differences? Do you think there is more than one thing we can find we have in common, with someone new?

4. Do you have a story in your life that involves wind? Ever caught in a wind storm?

5. How do you think the wind might remind us of the Holy Spirit? 

4. Close in Prayer: God, thank you for the gift of Your Holy Spirit, that connects us all. Amen.

~ Erynne DeVore, director of Children’s Ministry