God Prepared Me

By Betty Hertz, St. John Lay Leader

On March 27, the Upper Room thought for the day was “I will trust God has prepared me for the journey. “

My initial reaction: “Are you kidding me, God? I  will be traveling to be with Mary, my only sister. My anxiety is high as I'm in shock about the extent of her cancer. You've prepared me for this?”

When I returned from this painful journey, I reflected on how God had prepared me.

God prepared me by planting me in Bible study at St. John and teaching me to turn to His word for comfort. I had packed the Indigenous Bible and opened it often.

I  frequently repeated the words from Psalm 55:22:

        “Give your burdens to the Lord

         And He will take care of you.” 

God prepared me by planting me at St. John, “a welcoming family joyfully sharing God's light.” When it was hard to see the light, I felt your prayers, read your cards, and laughed at the emails that lifted my spirit. I shared the prayer shawl with my sister and used it many times myself. I also listened to the choir singing “You Do Not Walk Alone.” Two verses from that song especially provided me with peace.       

        “May you see God's light on the path ahead when the road you walk is dark.

        May you always remember when the shadows fall, you do not walk alone.”

God prepared me by planting me with the skills I learned in the Stephen Ministry training. I remembered to listen, pray, and accept help just as I've done for others. God also planted Clifton Springs United Methodist Church directly across from the hospital. That congregation served as my local welcoming family.

As I experienced all these thoughts, I returned to the words: “I will trust God has prepared me for the journey.” God had prepared me, and He walked with me.

Dear God,

When our world is spinning out of control, remind us to trust that You have prepared us for whatever journey we face. We do not walk alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Daydreaming about heaven

By Karen Biggs

John 14:2 [Jesus speaking:] “There are many rooms in my Father's house. I wouldn't tell you this, unless it was true. I am going there to prepare a place for each of you.” 

Luke 23:43 “Jesus answered him [the man on the cross next to Him], ‘Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.’”

 Now that I’ve attained the age when a number of my loved ones have passed, I daydream about heaven a little more frequently. Jesus gave his disciples just an inkling of heaven — all they needed to know, apparently. This hint of heaven must be enough. Indeed, it gives me immense comfort. I love the description of heaven as paradise — like Hawaii on steroids? I can roll with that. But, describing heaven as God’s house with many rooms is delightful — like a giant sleepover party where all is supplied, a feast is ready, there is ample space for everyone, and God’s love songs fill the air. Jesus is even preparing it all — creating it just so for each of us, when the time is right. Wow!

 Pipe Dream

By Karen Biggs

Heaven seems so distant 

in the day to day, 

like a pipe dream. 

But it’s the only dream 

that gives me any comfort. 

So play the pipes, 

Emmanuel —

Let your music lure me 

back from my wandering, 

Snap me out of my stupor,

Wake me from my sleepwalking, 

Draw me to You and

Make Your melody 

the refrain of my life. 

Prayer: Our loving God in heaven, hallowed be Your name. We thank you for the vision of paradise you give to us and the hope of a future celebrating with You in our forever-heavenly-home — all of which is a blessed gift of Your grace. Wow! Amen. 

What if there's no clear answer?

By Lisa Wells

Response to “Live in the Vine,” Acts 1:12-17, 21-26.

This passage reminds me that sometimes there is more than one right answer. As we go through life, certainly there are times when there is a clear right or wrong choice. But just as often, both choices are right. So how do we decide?  In my mind God is saying to us, “you might as well flip a coin, because I can use you for my glory either way.” Although the scripture in Acts did not explicitly state it, I believe that God could’ve used either candidate equally in His plan to spread the gospel. 

We struggle with life questions: should I go to this college or that one? Which job offer should I accept? Should I move out of state for an opportunity, or stay here? Where does God want me to go? If you have spent time in discernment (and asked others around you for prayer too), and there is no clear answer, it doesn’t mean that God isn’t listening or that He’s being deliberately aloof. It means good news: God has a loving plan for you either way!

St. John member Lisa Wells is a Certified Lay Servant and plays in the handbell choir.

Trust You

By Karen Biggs, St. John Stephen Minister

Psalm 84:12

“Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.”

For survival reasons we are hardwired to be wary and skeptical of those who might cause us harm; we hesitate to trust strangers. Unfortunately, I catch myself treating God this way, too, wary and skeptical of what He’s doing here on earth. Even though I have evidence of His love and goodness in the beautiful creation around me, and I know of His self-giving agape love for me, for us, and I know God actually IS love, I can still feel overwhelmed by the state of the world. One thing or another grabs my chin and turns my face away from Him and towards fear, worry, and doubt. Deep-down, however, I yearn to rest in Him, to really trust that He is here and we will be okay no matter what happens because Love wins in the end — and however that looks in eternity, I believe it will be mind-blowingly good. When the next stormy wave crashes onto the scene, I pray that wave turns my chin towards God, and I not only rest peacefully in His providence and love, but also sing praise to Him for this amazing gift of life and seek out new ways to do God-honoring good on this spectacular planet Earth.

Trust You

I want to trust You

But, surfing the waves of my mind

I loop and loop again with logic and reason,

Wondering where You are in this watery world,

Scanning for You across the horizon.

I want to trust You.

I’m trying to trust You,

Step one: admit that I need You,

That I’m shipwrecked without You,

That You’re the ballast that steadies my boat.

I want to trust You,

In the midst of pandemonium,

Somehow You are working it out in the end, for good.

Unseeable now, as I duck and cover.

Praying the All-Knowing One ever-cares.

I want to trust You,

When I am distant and adrift on a desert sea, 

Waiting and waiting for the One with living water

To draw me to shore and quench my thirst 

With a spring bubbling up to forever-life.

I want to trust You,

When I don’t see any point to it all,

When the suffering seems senseless.

Your thoughts are not my thoughts,

Your ways are not my ways.

I want to trust You,

When you say, “No,” and I rage.

My timing is not Your timing.

Your will looks like a tempest,

Yet You lead me by still waters and restore my soul.

I want to trust You,

When I’m battered by brokenness,

When the sadness spills over and wants to sink me.

You tell me, “I’ve got this, I’m with you.

I’m always with you. I love you.”

I want to trust You,

With this life, just a flash in time.

Your plan, I can scarcely understand.

Your love, swallowing me whole

Rescuing me from swells of doubt.

I want to trust You,

To float on the sea of perfect peace,

Fused with the One who never forsakes,

Wedded to the One who never leaves,

My ephemeral control left to drift.

I want to trust You, 

To cast all my careening cares upon You 

Because You calm the storm with just a Word.

My fate secure, my future held. 

“It is well. All is well.”

Dearest Lord, praise be to You for You are trustworthy. Open our hearts and minds to trust in Your love, Your plan, and the bright eternal future we have in You. Guide us in doing good in the world today and loving all people. Amen.

Fear Not

By Karen Biggs, St. John Stephen Minister

Isaiah 41:10

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Fear Not by Karen Biggs

Fear, how fickle you are.

You keep me safe one moment

And paralyze me the next.

You collaborate with my instinct to survive

Yet keep me from living my best.

A paradox of emotion and impulse.

Teasing out the imperative is oh so tricky.

But tell me really, have you gone overboard?

Must I be afraid of quite so much?

Must it consume my thoughts and control me so?

Fear, you four-letter word, I think you’ve tricked me.

You’ve twisted the message & have me under your thumb.

FEAR OF not being loved, 

Of losing a love, of being left alone,

Of rejection, of failure, 

Of change, of being stagnant,

Of not being cool, coming in last,

Of coming out, others finding out.

Of being too short, too tall, 

Too weird, too fat, too thin, 

FEAR OF humiliation, of getting caught,

Of losing my way, of being irrelevant.

Of harm done, of repercussions.

Of accidents, discrimination, and tough conversations.

Of being ignored, the last one picked, or not being picked at all.

FEAR OF death, disease, disability, 

Of losing my mind, of not enough time,

Of aging poorly and being poor.

What shall I do with all of this?

I will pull out the sword of truth that guides me on the right path,

That makes me notice the nuances, opening my eyes,

With courage to wave the banner of authenticity.

I will take the wind out of fear’s sails with prayer,

Connecting, at-one-ing with the Love-Source.

Embracing the will of the Be-ing that spun the galaxies into place.

I will be strengthened in my tribe who helps bear my burden.

People-ing, reaching, engaging, sharing, holding,

Designed to help one another.

I will be brave and face my futile fears bit by bit:

Chipping them away until they are mere sediment

Deconstructing that once insurmountable dam.

I will think of good things, beautiful things

Noble things, lovely and admirable things

To nourish my soul and buoy me up into fresh air. 

I will breathe and let magical music restore me

Engage the senses, delight the mind

Enliven me to tap and twirl here and in my head-space.

I will love myself, take care of myself

With gentle nourishment, validation of my worth, a soothing soak,

Tender concern, peaceful sleep, pillows of compassion.

I will be supported by my Maker who is with me wherever I go.

Never alone, right there, always here, my pilot

Ever present, all-knowing. I reach out and we hold hands.

I will trust in God who strengthens me, who helps me when I’m afraid.

The keeper of time and holder of reality

Reassures me with a star-sparkled future in His presence. 

Faithful Maker, You do not wish us to live in fear, but into Your fullness. Grace us with courage — a gift from You. Thank you for loving us and for being with us and in us. You are the breath in our lungs and we sing Your praise. Amen.