By Betty Hertz
Recently, I completed the course Meditation Through Hymns. Each day the instructor asked us to read the lyrics of the hymn and reflect on the meaning. Then we read the story about what inspired the author to create it. Next, the instructor read the verse four times. Each time we listened more deeply, starting with our intelligent ears, then our hearts, our souls, and finally, more profound listening for God. After this, we wrote a reflection. This process introduced me to a new way to focus on the words. Since hymns have often served as prayers for me, learning this technique provides a more powerful way to pray.
I have sung “Just As I Am” many times and have often experienced the feeling of “Really God, you want me?” However, through meditation, I experienced a deeper meaning. Several phrases turned to soul-searching questions.
One dark blot
“Just as I am and waiting not, to rid my soul of one dark blot” caused me to ask,” what is a dark blot for me today, and what will I do to cleanse it from my soul?” I have a long way to go to achieve perfection, so I know I have daily “dark blots.” My job is to recognize them and ask for God’s help in getting rid of them.
Many a doubt, within, without
“Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict and many a doubt, fighting and fears within, without” raises the question what fear is taking me away from trusting God? To let go of those fears and doubts, I am reminded of Isaiah (41:10) and God’s reassurance “Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you.”
Relief
“ Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, and relieve; because thy promise I believe.” What a great reminder! When I turn to God, I receive the gifts of pardon, cleansing, and relief, and with that comes the gift of hope.
Humility
The refrain for each verse is “O Lamb of God, I come, I come,” which humbles me before God and assures me He loves me “Just As I Am.”
Patient and Loving God,
Thank you for the messages we receive through the gift of hymns. When we sing the words with conviction, we feel your presence and guidance. May we always sing spiritually.
Amen.
Betty Hertz is a longtime member of St John UMC, a Stephen Minister and a member of SPRC. When not doing volunteer work, she is playing with her three goofy dogs.